Today I went to the hospital to pre-register for birth. This involves sitting down with a nurse and signing consent forms, going over birth plans ect... One of the questions I had to answer was:
Does the upcoming birth make you feel 1. Happy 2. Fearful 3. Ambivalent
I answered ambivalent. Remember, were talking about birth here, not the baby. Having a baby makes me happy, the birth part makes me nervous. When we went over the birth plan I said "my birth plan is to just get it over with!"
With Isaac, I had high expectations of a natural drug free birth, that lasted until 5cm. With Elijah, I had expections of a virtually painless labor. I thought I would get to the hospital, get an epidural when I was 4cm and that would be it. Turns out there were long hours of very painful contractions to get to 4cm! With Samuel, I expected to feel as good as I did after I had Elijah, turns out I had to recover from a c-section.
So the bottom line is that I have learned that you really don't know what to expect, and that in itself is a little scary to me.