Monday, June 27, 2005

Trust Me, I Know

If you know/meet/come across a woman expecting her 4th boy, and you feel so inclined to make a comment about it, please, please, please don't:
  • Go on and on and on that the ultrasound might be wrong, and how great it would be if it turned out to be a girl!
  • Say "you will just have to adopt a girl" There is absolutely nothing wrong with adoption, however this comment implies that a family cannot be complete without both genders.
  • Offer sympathy. "Awww...I'm sorry". "Thats just not fair". "Oh, you poor thing".
  • Tell her that she needs a girl.
  • Tell her that shopping for boy clothes is boring.
She may smile politely if you choose any of the above statements, but inside she is probably fuming.

Do feel free to say "Congratulations!! Boys are great!" ;)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for posting this! I know where you are coming from --only on a smaller scale numberwise (i.e. I only have 2 children right now). They are both girls, ages 2 1/2 and 9 months. And it's always bothered me, too, how people make those kinds of comments. Yet, like you said, I just smile and laugh politely. We would like a 3rd child and, although, I'd love to have a little boy, if God chooses to give us another sweet girl, I'll be just as thrilled. But even my own mother-in-law said, after we had our 2nd girl, that she's glad we want 3 because she wants a grandson!!! It still annoys me whenever I think about it. I know most of the time, people are just trying to make conversation or whatever, that's why I'm also glad you gave a very sweet suggestion for what they can say instead. You really sound like a great mother from reading your blog!

5:18 PM  
Anonymous Megan said...

Another part of why we're not finding out what we're having this time! The comments are already flying! Ugh!!
Honestly, it was actually harder last time, I really wanted Torrin to be a girl. Everytime someone would say something like that, it was like rubbing salt in the wound! This time, I'm more at peace either way - now it's just plain annoying!

6:36 PM  
Blogger Choppzs said...

I know what you mean about the comments. I am so lucky to have one of each and another on the way, but I can see how it would get very annoying. All those comments just seem so blunt and mean to me though, and I couldn't imagine saying that to somebody. I say you are soooo blessed just to be able to have babies to start, and that some people see it as a gender game. That is so annoying. "Oh I have to have a girl/boy because I just want to be able to dress them up, and I would just have more fun with them". I say Congratulations on your 4th little miracle and to heck with all the people and their rude comments!!!

10:37 PM  
Anonymous blestwithsons said...

Amen amen and Amen!! And after she has all four boys and is out and about with them - please do not say things to her like "Are they all yours? Oh you poor thing!" Saying "Wow, you have your hands full" is slightly more acceptable. But nothing beats, "Wow what adorable young men." Personally, when I was pregnant I just pointed at the ones I already had and said "Well, when you make em this cute - you've just got to keep going!" :-)

12:10 AM  
Blogger Jamie said...

Oh, I hear you!

10:57 AM  
Blogger Wethyb said...

I don't have a boy yet, but I can see how that'd be annoying! Boys, girls, does it really matter as long as they're all healthy and have 10 fingers and 10 toes?

11:50 AM  
Blogger cjoy said...

Though I just had my 2nd, a girl this time, I can really understand. I LOVE my son and was ready and willing to have another boy (I was heard to say I'd take a house full of them). We chose not to find out the gender, and since having Charlotte, I always hear "Now you finally have a girl", which really bugs me. Don't get me wrong, I'm as enamored with my daughter as I was my son. But, we were not having another baby for the purpose of having a girl...we just wanted another child, and a sibling for our son...we got what God chose to give us...a blessing.

(I actually blogged on something like this awhile back..."in defense of boys". haha!)

And so...
Congratulations on another boy! Aren't they wonderful?!

12:30 PM  
Blogger Christina in GA said...

Congratulations on your next boy :)

As a mom of an only child - a boy - I heard for many years "when are you going to have another?" "He needs someone to play with." "Don't you want to try for a girl?" Now that he's 11 I don't hear those comments any longer, but they were very annoying.

2:51 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

It is so stupid that some people think that you could never possible be happy with one gender. I mean, each child is so special and has a different personality. How could you not want them just the way they are whichever gender they may be. So I say congratulations on another healthy baby boy or girl. I can't wait to see what he looks like :D

6:09 PM  
Blogger Kether said...

Boys are wonderful and their toys are great! (and I personally love Liam's little baseball onesies, etc. who says boys clothes aren't fun?)
I was a little nervous about having a boy at first and now, I don't know if its because its all I know, but I can't imagine having a girl.

7:17 PM  
Blogger Kether said...

I've been thinking about this all day since I commented earlier and I was *so* hoping you didn't think that was what I was saying when I commented on the pictures of the kids on the swing. Hope you didn't take it that way, because it wasn't what I meant at all.
I *love* boys and see nothin' wrong with havin' all boys!

11:47 PM  
Blogger Amie said...

Think nothing of it! I took no offense at all in your comment!

1:23 AM  
Blogger Genevieve said...

I don't have any kids, but I come from a family of 3 girls, no boys. My whole life, people would say to me, "oh, no brothers? that's sad" and make comments to my dad like "oh, too bad you didn't have a son." we like our family the way it is, and that's what we'd say to people when they said stuff like that to us.

Congratulations on the 4th boy!

12:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations! I have 3 girls and I love 'em all, wouldn't trade them for the world. I know how you feel, people say to me "are you going to try again for a boy"....I am NOT, I like what God has blessed me with!

We have a homeschool blogging site at if you'd like to come by and see! There are many 'experts' in the field blogging there too, stop in for a visit!


7:05 PM  
Anonymous Amanda said...

As a Mom of 4 boys I can totally understand what you are saying. Some people in my family actually cried when I told them that my last baby was healthy, perfect and a boy. And no, I don't mean tears of joy.

I hate the fact that when I was PG this last time people assumed I was 'trying for a girl'. Ummm....wrong! I was trying for a healthy baby.

4:12 AM  

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