Ambivalence
am·biv·a·lence n. 1. The coexistence of opposing attitudes or feelings, such as love and hate, toward a person, object, or idea.
Today I went to the hospital to pre-register for birth. This involves sitting down with a nurse and signing consent forms, going over birth plans ect... One of the questions I had to answer was:
Does the upcoming birth make you feel 1. Happy 2. Fearful 3. Ambivalent
I answered ambivalent. Remember, were talking about birth here, not the baby. Having a baby makes me happy, the birth part makes me nervous. When we went over the birth plan I said "my birth plan is to just get it over with!"
With Isaac, I had high expectations of a natural drug free birth, that lasted until 5cm. With Elijah, I had expections of a virtually painless labor. I thought I would get to the hospital, get an epidural when I was 4cm and that would be it. Turns out there were long hours of very painful contractions to get to 4cm! With Samuel, I expected to feel as good as I did after I had Elijah, turns out I had to recover from a c-section.
So the bottom line is that I have learned that you really don't know what to expect, and that in itself is a little scary to me.
Today I went to the hospital to pre-register for birth. This involves sitting down with a nurse and signing consent forms, going over birth plans ect... One of the questions I had to answer was:
Does the upcoming birth make you feel 1. Happy 2. Fearful 3. Ambivalent
I answered ambivalent. Remember, were talking about birth here, not the baby. Having a baby makes me happy, the birth part makes me nervous. When we went over the birth plan I said "my birth plan is to just get it over with!"
With Isaac, I had high expectations of a natural drug free birth, that lasted until 5cm. With Elijah, I had expections of a virtually painless labor. I thought I would get to the hospital, get an epidural when I was 4cm and that would be it. Turns out there were long hours of very painful contractions to get to 4cm! With Samuel, I expected to feel as good as I did after I had Elijah, turns out I had to recover from a c-section.
So the bottom line is that I have learned that you really don't know what to expect, and that in itself is a little scary to me.
posted by Amie at 12:44 PM
2 Comments:
I would have to say I would feel the same! I was hoping with Zachary my labor wouldn't last more then Olivia's labor did. Well it surpassed it by 7 hrs. So with Olivia it was 12 hrs. and Zachary was 19. I am hoping this one doesn't surpass the 24 hr mark. Scary! I lasted the first 8 hrs. before an epidural with Olivia and with Zachary I lasted about 13. I wanted to go natural for both, but well....lol it is easier said then done! Good luck to you girl, I know what you're feeling and admire you for doing it again! It is Ambivalent, you love it and you hate it all at the same time!
I know... I had such a wonderful and easy experience having Anna-- started me on Pitocen at 7:30am, put in epidural at 9:00am, never felt a bit of pain the whole day, pushed her out in half an hour-- that I figure that there is no way I could ever again have a birth that great. It's only downhill from here.
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